We go through many hurtful experiences in our lives and arguing with a friend is one of them. It happens sometimes that the argument emerges from no where and surprises everyone.
Also sometimes tension generates in the enthusiastic and trust worthy relation of friendship and you are well aware that it is really hard to avoid what is being destined. We all have argued at some moments of our lives and it is absolutely normal, you do not have to worry if you get down about it.
The important thing is to know how to rebuild the friendship after having an argument. In this article, we will describe how to make up with a friend after an argument, so read the article till the end.
Wait Until You Are Relaxed
If you are still angry and you try to talk to your friend it will be of no use as both of you will not be receptive to listening. It is also said, “Never go to bed angry”.
If we ponder we realize that it has some wisdom to it as if you wait too long to make up, your anger will fester and will make you sleep poorly hence you will be less able to perform your task better, the next day. Also, as a result, you can end up having more arguments.
However, it is not possible that every argument settles by the bedtime. You may not be able to make up early depending on the depth and complexity of the argument. But it does not mean that you should put it off.
If Possible Apologize Soon
It is best to apologize as soon as you can, if possible. There are some situations where apologizing is typically the best thing to do immediately and these are:
- You have accused someone of doing something which he has not done and you are wrong.
- You were not overly angry but it was just litte bit of anger, hurt, frustration and some other emotions were the reason and you didn’t apologize for this. So do not let them get in your way if you put these things aside, it can be easy for you to understand the situation and you will end-up with decision of a must apologize.
- Another reason to make up immediately is that the other person is willing to do so. It happens that the other person may avoid making up but if he wants to then do it now.
Invite Your Friend
Keep in mind while inviting that your invitation to your friend should be as an offer instead of a demand. This is because you do not have to make other person feel that he is obligated to talk with you. In fact, you should reflect your regret and sad feelings over the argument and invite your friend to express his or her feelings.
In this regard, you can send an email or a handwritten letter or card to your friend to say that you are sorry about the fight and you would love to talk about it so you can understand your friend’s feelings better. And ask would he like to talk about it with you or not.
Meet Your Friend In Person
If it is possible, try to meet your friend in person. It is necessary because in this way you will be able to talk to each other while being face to face. Also, we know that the non-verbal actions make up a huge part of our conversation.
They play a great role in how we interpret each other’s actions and words. Meeting in person will be beneficial for you also as you will be able to clarify what you have done or said and can keep an eye on another person that how he responds.
Give Your Friend Space To Talk
While you are having a conversation with your friend about the fight and when you are expressing your feelings keep in mind to make sure that your friend feels heard. You do not have to share your feelings only. Give him or her the space to share their own perceptions about the argument.
It is essential because it will enable you to gain a better understanding of how your friend has perceived your role in the argument and thus you will be able to analyze how you can apologize. In this order, you can say that you are sorry that you have hurt him or her and you want him to help you understand what were his feelings.
Listen To What Your Friend Has To Say
It is completely fine to express that your feelings were hurt during the fight however it is better to first listen to what your friend wanted to say. This is because listening to your friend with concentration will send him a message that you value his feelings.
Also, do not interrupt while your friend is talking and wait until he or she has finished. After that, you can ask for any clarification if needed. Make sure not to contradict him because making up is about accepting the responsibility first rather than determining that who was right and who was wrong.
Talk About The Future
Saying sorry is not enough, your apology must contain a future oriented comment which will let your friend know that you are serious about keeping the friendship. In this order, you can say the things like you are sorry about what happened and you will ensure yourself that this thing will not happen in the future.
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