How To Deal With A Narcissist: A bend towards narcissism occurs in almost everyone, to the greater or lesser degree. Sometimes you really have no idea if someone is high in their personality quality until you are completely involved with them in any relationship.
Then you come to know that these qualities that you were attracted to are actually the narcissistic qualities that now you feel really annoyed with. You may have parents, siblings or other relatives with a narcissistic personality which you can’t handle.
Sometimes you are forced to deal with a manager, boss, student, co-worker, teacher or any other person with whom you have daily interactions who has a strong tendency of being a narcissist.
Narcissism is the tracking of gratification from egotistic or vanity admiration of one’s attributes and self-image. This term came from Greek mythology, in which the young Narcissus saw his own image in the pool of water and fell in love with himself.
People who are extremely narcissistic can also be charismatic, funny and good at whatever they do. Being around them may give you satisfaction, more pleasure than pain and if they are in your workplace then may lead to the success of your team.
13 Signs That You Are Dealing With A Narcissist
According to the Statistical and Diagnostic manual, a person can exhibit only 55% of the identified characteristics that can be said as narcissistic traits. Here is a detailed list of 13 signs which show that you are dealing with a Narcissistic.
1. Superiority and Entitlement
The world of the narcissist is about superior or inferior, good or bad and right or wrong. There is a specific hierarchy, having the narcissist people on the top and rest falling underneath them. This is the place where the narcissist feels safe.
2. Exaggerated Need For Attention and Validation
Narcissists really need continuous attention following you even in the home, constantly asking you for help to find things just to seek your attention. Validation for a narcissists counts if it really comes from others.
Narcissists show an extremely high interest in everything to be at a perfect level. Most narcissists believe that they are perfect, you should also be perfect and everything happening around them must also be perfect.
4. The Need For Control
As the narcissists are constantly upset with the way of the imperfect life, they want it to be as perfect as them, they do everything possible for them to control it. They even try to mold it in their own way which they think is better.
5. Lack Of Responsibility – Blaming and Deflecting
Although narcissists keep everyone in control and want themselves to be controlled as well, they would never like to be responsible for the results, unless everything goes exactly how they wanted it to be and they achieve the desired result.
6. Lack of Boundaries
They just lack a sense of boundaries. They really don’t understand where they end and where you start. They actually act like a 2-years old. They think that everything in their vicinity belongs to them.
7. Lack of Empathy
Narcissists are considered to be selfish and self-centered. They really don’t care about other people or their feelings. They lack the ability to empathize with others. They remain selfish because they are unable to understand others feelings.
8. Emotional Reasoning
You may have been doing wrong trying to reason and use logic to get the narcissists to understand what effect their behavior had on you. It is meaningless to make them understand these situations as they are extremely self-centered.
The traits of the narcissist personality are split into different parts like good or bad. They also deal with splitting everything in their serious relationships into something good or bad, which is also self-centric nature.
The narcissist’s whole life is energized and motivated by fear. They feel the extreme fear of being left alone and are deeply repressed and buried in this fear. They are continuously afraid of being rejected or left alone.
Anxiety is a confusing feeling that something bad is going to happen or is already happening. Narcissists believe that by constantly talking to someone they can overcome the feeling of anxiety or at least they can hide it.
When you deal with a narcissist person who doesn’t feel any guilt because they think that they are always right, you feel like they also lack shame. They really don’t bother who is affected by their behavior.
13. An Inability To Be Truly Vulnerable
Because of the inability of the narcissist to understand the feelings, constant need of self-attention, to deal with a narcissist can’t always help you out. They cannot look at the world with others perspective.
If you see all these signs in a person then know that you are actually dealing with an extremely narcissistic personality. Now following are the ways you must know how to deal with a narcissist person.
11 Ways To Deal With A Narcissist
Let’s have a look at the ways which you can adapt to deal with a narcissist person who is extremely high in this personality trait:
1. Determine the type with which you are dealing:
Weak narcissists don’t feel good at their heart. They think that there is always something wrong with them. So you may not realize when they are faking with you or when they get in the proper way.
If you are trying to put people in your family or on your work team to the great use, then the narcissist might be your best ally as long as you get that person along with your goals to keep him and use him for purpose.
2. Acknowledge the annoyance of narcissist:
To deal with a narcissist can get on your nerves and can be extremely antagonistic. If you want something to get done and someone is continuously interrupting or spotlighting themselves, just know where your frustration is coming from. It will help you out.
3. Appreciate the behavior:
A weak narcissist needs to make himself feel good about him, which is why they become undercutting and sneaky. They may ask you about your authority just to create an issue in their surroundings.
Once you have recognized that this type of person is coming from a place of insecurity, you can give them enough reassurance to get them to focus on what needs to be done and to settle down calmly.
4. Evaluate the context:
Narcissism is not believed to be an all-or-nothing trait of personality. Some situations may depict one person’s insecurities more than other people. These people may feel insecure around others and may enjoy there own company.
If you know a person who is like this, then it is important to remember that this situation may create a monster with whom you will have to interact now. Help this person out by giving them free space.
5. Maintain a Positive Outlook:
If you have to deal with a narcissist who gets pleasure by seeing someone suffering, then watching the pain that they cause will just egg them on to angrier counter-behavior. Don’t pretend that you are ruffled even if you feel annoyed by their behavior.
Eventually, their behavior will wear off and you will feel quite better. Furthermore, by keeping the past tips in your mind, you can be able to help your self out of this situation easily and things can improve.
6. Don’t let yourself derailed:
It is quite simple to lose your own sense of goals and purpose when a narcissist tries to take the attention of the audience. You don’t need to attend all about this person now much how much he attracts you with his tantrums.
Find the balance between going ahead and alleviating the weak narcissist’s anxieties and insecurities. If he is a grandiose type narcissist, you may have to acknowledge his feelings and then you can move one.
7. Keep Your Sense of Humor:
Calling the narcissist’s bluff can say that you ignored the person, but it may also mean that you have met this bluff with a burst of laughter in your life for at least once. You don’t have to be cruel about it just ignore this behavior with a smile.
8. Recognize that a person may need assistance:
As some narcissists truly have low-esteem and deep feelings of inadequacy, it is important to recognize when they can benefit from the professional invention. Despite the fact that personality is immutable, research tells that people can change their long term behaviors.
9. Be Dexter:
We all narcissism in us. It is natural and sometimes it may work for you in a good way. If you see someone acting out tell them to be a Dexter in their life. Dexter is a psychopath, not a narcissist. He tries to act normal, struggles to develop empathy.
He tries to be good, impulses to do things in a better way that must advantage the people in his surroundings. Dexter is a serial killer who kills other serial killers. But you don’t need to kill anyone to become dominant.
10. Ask them: “What would people think?”:
A narcissist doesn’t feel any guilt, but shame. If they think that something can hurt their reputation in front of other people, they will twice about it. So if you can give some advice to them then first ask them what other people will think about them.
They are obviously not stupid but there are some things that they consider less no matter what, which includes the feeling of other people. They hardly think about other people as they are extremely self-obsessed.
11. Know What You Want:
Never expect fairness from them. They are just thinking about themselves. Well right then. Know your worth and tell that what you want. Then get them to pay upfront with whatever you want before they get their desired thing. As soon as they get what they want they can harm you and it can result negatively.
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