Why Do People Cheat: When someone cheated on their partner, they are mostly left asking the question: why?
They usually think that How could someone they loved and trusted, and who they taught loved them back, cheat them in such a hurtful and shocking way? There is typically not only a sense of upset and anger but also total incredulity.
Moreover, the reasons why people cheat are diverse, but there is a number that crop up time and again in the counseling room.
If you are presently struggling to understand why this has happened to you, then you might find it useful to think about some of the following reasons.
Why do People Cheat
A Public relations release from an online site for married couples declare to have some answers as to why: “According to their digits, 63% of females say cheating made them feel more lively, 43% females say cheaters had an affair to have the feeling of butterflies again and 39% say it helped them regain their confidence”
Normally what ladies say they look from an affair is sex (65%), to discover new desires (41%), the butterfly feeling (43%), friendship (39%) and affection (49%).
Apparently, men seek (87%) sex, to discover new desires (39%), that butterfly feeling (23%), affection (33%) and friendship (39%).
Although, it is an emotional attachment, physical chemistry, or something else. Moreover, 84% of cheaters need a partner, who is cheating for the same reason they give themselves.
Director of communications said “It is not always about searching someone running off and new, potentially ruining the family dynamic” “Many of our members tells us that infidelity has helped save their marriage by satisfying their natural desires, allowing them to return back to the marriage a more complete person.”
Risk Factors of Why Do People Cheat
Many issues in the marital relationship might also be a risk factor for cheating. Few of them include:
- Physical and emotional disconnect
- Lack of communication
- Low compatibility
- Financial pressures
- Emotional abuse and domestic violence
- Lack of respect
Possible reasons of Why Do People Cheat
Let’s begin to answer by considering some primary types of reasons for cheating:
- Individual Reasons: The sentence “Once a cheater, always a cheater” allude to individual reasons for cheating-quality about the person that make her or him more prone to do infidelity. Researches have recognized a variety of individuals risk factors which includes:
Gender: Men are more probable than women to commit cheating in a relation, largely because men have more testosterone that is responsible for the strong need to have sex.
Personality: People who have less agreeable personalities and less conscientious are more probable than individuals high on these attributes to commit cheating in a relationship.
Political Orientation and Religiosity: Religiously rigid people and those with a conservative political orientation are less probable than others to cheat in a relationship because they have more fixed values.
One of the most common causes of infidelity is the feeling that you and your partner have moved slowly apart. In this case, cheating can feel like a gateway of searching for something exciting and new when your relationship has become familiar and predictable. Moreover, a sense of disconnection from one’s partner can happen for a variety of reasons.
There may be a need for proper communication in relation. Life might have become dominated by looking after kids or work, so time has become more functional than loving.
We mostly use the term “Love Languages” to narrate how people express love and affection to each other. Few partners communicate more verbally by saying good things, while others may prefer to express love physically by kissing or cuddling.
If your love language is different as compared to your partners, that can leave you to feel unloved and potentially more open to the love of someone who seems to understand you more.
Furthermore, if there is an absence of balance in a relation, one partner can start to feel a bit like a parent and other like a kid, for instance, one partner might feel like they have to be the mature and responsible one.
One makes all the decisions, manage finances, organize the home and so on, and other one does not pull their weight. Although, an affair may then seem so tempting in order to feel equal and appreciated.
Fear of commitment
Sometimes, an affair happens at times when you may presume people will be the most secure in their relations, for instance as after getting engaged or when someone is expecting a child.
Worries and insecurities can be very unsettled. Sometimes people may damage what they have, unconsciously or consciously, as a way of denying the feelings of responsibility.
Issues related to self-esteem
Moreover, affairs can also emerge from personal insecurities. Low self-regard can cause individuals to be very dependent on the attention of other people.
In some cases, the attention of just one person is not enough. It might cause someone to feel insecure in their own relations, so that they may cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected.
Sexually addictive behavior
Affairs can usually be connected to issues with sexually addictive behaviors. This behavior is something where a person is habitually interested in sexual activities as a gateway to relieve negative feelings which they find hard to control or a way to satisfy their sexual desires.
These desires can be irresistible in the way that an alcohol or drug may be. For many people, this can mean they end up engaging in multiple relationships or in affairs repeatedly.
As we all know, boredom can lead the way to an affair in both women and men who are seeking the thrill of the chase, passion associated with newfound love and excitement.
Few people claim that preferably than looking for an alternative for their life partner, their aim is to spice up their married life. Falling out of love and affection is also frequently seen as a reason for cheating.
We have often heard in the stories that middle-aged men are having an affair with a girl of the age of their daughters, cheating might sometimes be a gateway for a male or female to prove that they still have it.
Hand in hand with all these thoughts, a husband may blame for their own irresponsibility by claiming that their partner has let herself/himself go.
Feeling of Revenge
If one partner has damaged the other partner in some way or has had an affair, the annoyed partner might feel a need for revenge in the form of an affair.
Other Reasons for Why Do People Cheat
Besides the primary reasons for cheating given above, there are many other secondary reasons that may lead to an affair, some of them are given below:
Having an affair with someone, especially an emotional affair is easier than in the past, and internet and different social media sites have been involved in most divorces and affairs.
Online cheating or “Internet infidelity” is still considered as cheating even if two persons never met each other.
At the same time, the role of pornography in martial cheating has been downplayed, pornography is extremely dangerous to marriage and has clearly been indicated to be a way for some individuals.
Sadly, pornography has become much more accessible to the web.
Time of absence, if you are serving in the military or traveling for work provides a greater chance for an affair to happen. Not only do these absences allow a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being divorced, but the absence might lead to the resentment and loneliness often cited as reasons.
Few couples can move past cheating and move on to have even a better relationship with each other on the other hand some can’t. Clearly, there are times when continuing the relationship would not be suggested.
Before you examine the specifics of an affair from your spouses point of view and to see at why the affair happened in terms of her or his needs, it is very important to focus at your own desires. Moreover, this can be very challenging than it sounds, especially during anger and jealousy.
Although, if you were the one who had an affair, then there are few steps which you can follow to save your married life. Moreover, you need to stop lying and cheating immediately and own your choice.
Giving your spouse space and being patient is also very important. This does not say it will surely work out, it might not. But without taking full responsibility, the chances will be less.
The chance that you can get past the affair depends on so many different factors, such as the reasons why it happened then it characteristics of both persons. To completely move forward and understand, both partners have to listen to each other and not think that their partner’s feelings or motivation would be the same as their own.
For those who decide to try hard and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual ability to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship is key.
A Word From Very well
There are many possible reasons for cheating and marriage is complicated. However, expressing your needs, Practicing forgiveness, speaking directly, and making a commitment to work on your marriage on a daily basis is the best insurance plan to save your marriage.
If any of your relative or loved one cheating with you then you can take him or her to Anuj Gupta, M.D. He is Adult Psychiatrist and offering years of experience.
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